Life Throws Us Curve Balls!

I always thought that my greatest accomplishment would be figuring out life then living it to its fullest. But....I have come to figure out that out of a bad situation came the best thing that ever happen to me...My daughter, Brooklyn. Through her i have learned what love really means. I get to live everyday through a childs eyes because of her. She shows me things about myself that i never knew.

Of course when you are faced with being pregnant at the not so tender age of 18 the worst goes through your head, yet for some reason i always knew she was going to come into this world because God has a great purpose for her life! Because of Brooke I'm starting to see that God has a bigger plan for my life as well.

Brooke has brought so much joy to my family its unbelievable!!! I never thought one person who just turned one could make so many people happy by just being here. My friends tell me everyday how blessed they feel for being in Brooke's life and see her grow up.

Trust me thought it wasnt always as happy as i make it out to be. Having to break the news to not only Brooke's dad but my parents that i was pregnant was the hardest obsticle that i have ever had to face. I remember the day I found out i was pregnant.....I had been feeling ill for about a week and a half and after the first few days of just thinking it was the flu i started to realize that maybe it was something else, something bigger than the flu. So i went to the store and bought a home pregnancy test and took it when i got home. While i was peeing on the stick it came out positive and i think it was at that very moment no matter what anyone was going to say i was keeping the baby. I was 18 out of high school and had a good job and a great home so i saw no reason to not keep it.

1st person i called? My best friend stephanie. She had always been my rock for as long as i could remember. She had no clue what i should do so i told her i was gonna call Aaron(brooke's dad). I called him to tell him that i needed to meet up with him and that i was coming over to his house, but he was busy at his dad's house but i told him it was an emergency and that he needed to meet up with me so he did. When I got to his place he had a friend over who i asked to leave. Aaron wasnt really thrilled to see me b/c two weeks before that we cut things off between us because he was cheating on me and he wanted to be with other girl. Knife to the heart. I remember when i told him i was pregnant tears came to his eyes and trust me they werent happy ones. He asked me to get an abortion two times before i started to get upset. He told me he had to go over to his brother's house and talk to him, so i went home, scared and alone not knowing what to do.

I didnt know how to tell m parents so for a little while i didnt. I went to the doctor to double check that i really was pregnant, which i was. So it was official another child was going to bring a child into this cold scary world. I wrote my parents a letter telling them i was pregnant and it was an amazing letter but i couldnt bare to give it to them. I didnt want to deal with the dissapointment that was going to come from the news. Well it turns out i gathered up the courage to tell my mom one day when my dad was working; i thought it might be easier to tell them one at a time. I balled my eyes out and tried to tell her but i literally couldnt get the words out of my mouth so i gave her the letter and barried my face in a pillow sobbing while she read it. She was shocked! She shared some personal stuff with me about her past then told me i would have to tell my dad. I went upstairs to regain my composure and when i came down she said she called my dad and told him. lol. she kinda cant keep secrets and thats what i was counting on. I guess you could say it was cowardly of me to do that but my dad is one of my best friends and i could NOT handle telling him.

I remember going to Aaron's place to talk about baby names before we knew if it was a boy or girl. He told me he was hoping for a boy because girls were so fragile. And when i told him if it was a girl i wanted to name her Brooklyn his reply was "Brooklyn? Like the city??" Needless to say he hated it! I loved it! lol Call it cruel but i wanted to give her a name i loved and he hated.

Being pregnant at 18 was tough. Being pregnant at 18 and getting abandoned by the baby's father when ur 3 months pregnant is even tougher. Oh yea i didnt mention that? Aaron moved back home and turned off his cell phone so i had no way of reaching him. Then he and his twin brother proceeded to tell everyone that the baby wasnt Aaron's and that i was a slut. Yea. It was like he twisted that knife in my heart around in circles.

So i did it alone. My parents barely spoke to me and my friends had no idea what i was really going through. When I found out that the baby was a girl Aaron wasnt there. I couldnt even call him to tell him. And when Brooke was born Aaron wasnt there. I got a message from him the next day saying he heard i had the baby and he was wondering when we can get a paternit test. Again he twisted that knife even deeper. He couldnt call and ask how i was doing and ask how the baby was and what he could do to help. No, he had to be a jerk and think only about himself like always.

One week after Brooke was born Aaron came overwith his mom to see Brooke and he had no clue how to hold her! It was the wierdest thing seeing him after not seeing him for 6 months and to see him sitting on my couch holding the child that i had been caring for in my womb without his support.

We got that paternity test and when he finally saw i was right all along he had to have felt dumb. I wouldnt know would i? To this day he has never apologized for everything he put me through. I know its not right of me but i still have bitter feelings about it all. I've been working on having peace about it all but it just hasnt come to me yet. It will.

When Brooke was about 3 months old Aaron told me that he wished it had been anybody else but me that he had gotten pregnant. Again the knife went even deeper. I dont even really know what i did to make him hate me so much.

I dont care what he thinks of me though. It doesnt stop me from loving my daughter and raising her the way i know God wants me to. She is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me and i would never take away any of the pain physically and emotionally that i went through if it meant she wasnt here. She was an accident but never a mistake. She is in my eyes God's greatest creation. Brooke has taught me how to love and shes given me a reason to be on this earth and shes only one! I cant wait to see her grow up and experience new things from life and from God!